It’s 1935, and Loretta McJilton arrives in the golden fields of Kansas, born to Gladys, a real-estate entrepreneur, and Luther, a businessman who owned oil wells. My Mom, Loretta, is one of five sisters.

Growing up, Mom’s best friend was Pat Morgan. They’re in the photograph of the two goofy girls in long johns on this web page. Pat and my Mom had lots of fun growing up. During my Mom’s senior year in high school, she met my dad, Dave Bowersock. My dad was athletic, good-looking, the All-American high school football star. She married him, had my brother, then me.

My father was an Air Force officer, so my mom was a military wife. She was also a great bridge player and a fabulous dancer. In fact, she taught waltzing and performed in USO shows for returning Vietnam Veterans. But after 16 years of moving around the country due to my father’s military service, a divorce changed her life.

Like most divorcées, my mother had to learn how to make it as a single mom, stretching her dollars by bargain shopping and hitting garage sales. She returned to college and became a tennis pro. Her favorite day was when Billie Jean King beat Bobby Riggs. My mom and her friend, Skyla, celebrated King's victory by challenging – and beating – a doubles game against two men.

In 1976, my Mom met Rex, a handsome, dynamic man. Rex was in Arizona as part of the CIA team investigating the Don Bolles case. Bolles, a journalist for the Arizona Republic newspaper, investigated peddling, bribery, and land swindles. In 1976, his car was destroyed by a bomb as it sat in a parking lot in Phoenix. Bolles' death was believed to be mob-related and thus under investigation by the CIA.

After seven years of long-distance dating, Mom discovered that Rex was married. She was devastated. I believe that was the reason she was vulnerable and lonely when, two years later, she met another man, Taw Benderly.

Taw was a bit mysterious. He had no money and no job. He didn’t carry I.D., such as a driver’s license. But he was able to charm his way into my mom's life. He made her feel like she was the center of his world. All of Taw’s attention was on her. He was attentive, smart, polite, charming, helpful and spoke of making big money with his inventions. If only he could get a loan to start his company. Well, Mom, being from the "stand by your man" era, gave him a large loan. Later, when things went south, she said she kept trying to make the relationship work to protect her investment. Much too late, I learned that this is a very common response. Many single women who are older and have worked hard to build financial security are attractive targets for what I’ve dubbed “the Charming Predator."

Taw was a poster child for the Charming Predator. He began by controlling her life, little by little. To me, it seemed like he hypnotized her to abandon her path, and instead, follow his direction in life. He found reasons to discount her friends and relatives, putting distance between her and the people she cared about.

Let me be clear about an important point. Mom was no fool. She was a very beautiful, successful, intelligent woman. She was an active volunteer in the community, regularly donated time and money to charitable causes, and was always there to help a friend in need – or me. Family was very important to her. Taw, accordingly, played on her sympathy by describing a miserable childhood, followed by the deaths of family members. He went on to say that he’d never married or had children, so he was completely alone in the world.

With a loving heart, she made it her project to help him. That's why, whenever he would get overheated and start to yell or act in a controlling manner, he learned to apologize, then say he’d never learned to be a good family man due to his upbringing. Mom stuck with him, believing she could help him become a better communicator and a loving, responsible partner.

But instead of becoming a partner, much less a provider, he focused on being an "inventor." His focus jumped from one project to another, and the potential payoff was always bigger and better than the last. Basically, he went through all Mom’s money and then began begging loans from me. We both tried to help him be successful.

Then, in mid-December of 2004, mom discovered that her beautiful home, the home she had decorated with a flair equal to Architectural Digest, was about to go into foreclosure. Unbeknownst to her, Taw had taken out loans against her house. Later we found out that he’d also forged her signature on several documents, gaining access to her checking, savings and retirement accounts, as well as other investments and multiple wills. Everything she’d worked for was gone.

Police later traced her telephone records, which show that she called her bank and mortgage company several times in the days immediately prior to her disappearance. I believe – as do the police – that she confronted Taw with her discovery. He knew his scam was over.

On December 14, 2004, Taw called me from Tucson, an Arizona city about an hour and a half southeast of Phoenix, near the Mexican border. He said that my mom had been kidnapped. According to Taw, he and my mom went to Tucson to do some holiday shopping. He’d dropped her off at a mall and arranged to meet her there later, but she never showed up.

Nine days later, Taw hung himself. Along with his life, he took the secret of what happened to her the day she disappeared, and where she was now.

Messages from Mom

Note from Terri: I learned to recognize my mom’s presence both in dreams and during my waking hours. It helped me to not miss her as much. I could still feel her strength and support. She told me she forgave Taw and it was okay for me to forgive him also. Due to the fact there was not proof of a murder- because there was no body - the police did not conduct a search for her remains. I was not willing to let that be the end of the story. Everywhere I looked, I kept thinking I would see her. Worst of all, if she was kidnapped, what was happening to her? So when psychics began calling me from all over the country, I accepted their help; I was willing to do anything to find my mom.

Psychics and mediums told me Mom’s body was buried in the desert. From where I live, in Phoenix, to Tucson, where Taw said she disappeared, is a 100-mile by 100-mile sandbox. And according to police, the chances of finding her body were slim; typically, murder victims’ bodies buried in the desert are found five to ten years later. Essentially, the chances of finding her in this vast desert was one in a million. But through messages from people with psychic skills, my mother helped me find her in the desert in one year. That is a miracle. For that reason, I would like to share my mom's messages with you. These are not religious views. I could have edited these messages for the public, but chose instead to honor Mom’s life by sharing her truths without censorship.

The greatest message I got from Mom was the meaning of love, forgiveness, and eternity.

First message from Mom, three days after she was missing: I had a dream and in it, Mom and I were one. I was lying in a desolate riverbed. There were two sand hills right next to me, one topped by a tall, one-armed cactus. I heard the coyotes and I screamed, fearing that they would bite my fingers. Later, when we found my mom's body, she was in that riverbed from my dream, complete with the sand hills and one-armed cactus.Calls started coming in everyday from psychics in the Phoenix area as well as many other states, including Mary Ann Morgan, nationally known for the Scott Peterson case. Since there were no other leads and the police were stumped, I decided to be open to anything. It was not an option to give up; I would try whatever it took to find her.

At first, they all said she had not passed to “the other side,” which meant she was either still alive following a kidnapping, or the victim of a tragic death. In the second scenario, she was likely desperate to help us find her body.

Second message from Mom. My mother couldn't carry a tune, so the only song she ever sang to me was “Happy Birthday,” every September 21 (my birthday). After she disappeared, a friend and I were sitting in my bedroom and we heard the song, “Happy Birthday” - like when you open a card and it plays a song. The next day, I searched everywhere and found a music gift box from five years earlier. The music box played the very song we had heard the day before – but the mystery was that the music box was stuffed in a closet under a stack of boxes!

Third message from Mom: The publisher of my books has a friend who is a well-known medium named Tammy Holmes. Tammy called and said Mom was moving things around and making lots of noise at her house in an attempt to contact me. Tammy said we needed to talk. Mom tried very hard to give me directions to try to find her through the psychics. Tammy said, "She's not here with me just to give you directions. She wants to connect with you." So I drove over to Tammy's home. The first thing Tammy said was, "Your mom is standing here holding out a purse." I said, "She wants me to guess what she paid for it." Through Tammy, my mom replied, "On earth it would be $45 but up here, it's free." I realized that my Mom was playing the “Guess what I paid for this?” game that I had played with her since I was 5 years old. After several other stories that only Mom and I would know, I knew it was her.

What a gift to know that there is life after death. It gave me hope I could find her.

Fourth message from Mom. Me: "Where are you? I need to find you." Mom: "Find me in your heart. I love you so much and I am sorry I did not know how important you and I are to each other. My body is not important. It's important to feel the love in your heart! I will wait for you before I incarnate back."

Fifth message from Mom. Me: "Taw said you would be together forever. Is he with you?" Mom: "NO, I had enough of him on earth. I visited him once but he cannot come to visit me. Forgive him. I am happy; I'm going to visit my uncle. He will teach me to raise my vibration level so I can come help you find me.”

Sixth message from Mom. On the phone, Tammy tells me that she sees my mom holding a velvet fabric and a gold bracelet. Mom would always do something to prove to me it was her; that day, I was wearing a velvet shirt. Later, when I called my aunts, the first thing they said was, "Thank you for the gold watches you sent. We love them and feel close to your mom wearing them." Proof again, that Mom was connecting to me through Tammy.

Knowing Taw’s controlling, dominant behavior, I asked my mom, "Are men dominant on the other side?" Her answer was, "Our souls are mainly one sex but we can come back to earth as a man or a woman." And she added, "The higher ups are androgynous, so it doesn't matter what race, sex or preference you have, we are all seen as a soul, not a race or sex."

Seventh message from Mom. It was December 14, the day she disappeared, and I contacted Mom to honor her on that date. She said very directly, "Don't think of me on the 14th, think of me on the 9th or 10th. Don't think of me as dead. I've been shopping in Paris, studying fashion design for the next time I come back to earth. And I've started dating. I'm very happy here, I'm with my parents and sister; I am with you everyday, and I love you so much."

My mother was found thirteen months after her disappearance, on the 14th of January, 2006 at 11:15 a.m., which was the same date and time she was reported missing. Thank you, we all found her together through the power of positive thinking. Thank you for your loving support. When you believe, anything is possible.

In loving memory of Loretta Bowersock.